


When You Wish Upon A King

by marysiak



Category: Labyrinth (1986)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-03-09
Updated: 1998-03-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 05:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8000992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marysiak/pseuds/marysiak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My section of a "round robin" type tale. Jareth decides to give all of his loyal listians anything they want, one wish a piece (Wishes to be his queen don't count; the man would end up with a HAREM by the end of the story).</p>
            </blockquote>





	When You Wish Upon A King

========   
To: labyrinth-fanfic@issl.atl.hp.com   
Subject: Re: When You Wish Upon a Goblin King   
Date: Mon, 09 Mar 1998 12:45:10 GMT   
   
Okay then, I'm game for this. I apologise in advance for lowering the   
tone, but I'm afraid it's something of a speciality of mine.   
   
\----------------------------------------   
**When You Wish Upon a Goblin King (Group Fic)**  
 **by Amethyst**  
   
It was nearing midday but Amethyst still lay in bed, half asleep. She   
had actually got up briefly earlier (when you gotta go you gotta go)   
and logged on to pick up her email before deciding to fall asleep   
again. If it weren't for the fact that all her Labyrinth Fic mail went   
to her work account she might have been expecting what happened next.   
   
She heard a knock on the back door. "Bloody hell," she grumbled. Not   
her new landlord or his wife, please! But who else could it be at the   
back door. She grabbed her red padded shirt to cover herself and   
stomped silently to the door. She unlocked it then started the   
requisite heroics needed to actually open it.    
   
After a couple of minutes of puffing and panting and tugging with one   
hand while holding her shirt closed with the other a silky smooth   
voice said. "Please, allow me."   
   
Startled she dropped back from the door and with a sharp kick the   
Goblin King freed it from the jam and it swung open. He stepped inside   
and closed it with an equally hard kick.   
   
"Whatever would you do in an emergency?" he remarked.   
   
"Um... use the front door?"   
   
He gave her a wry look then looked down a little and actually blushed.   
"Do you normally expose yourself to complete strangers?" he asked,   
trying to keep his usual sophisticated demeanour.   
   
She looked momentarily confused then realised she had let go of her   
shirt and it was hanging open. "Oh!" she thought a moment.   
"Actually... yes. If my webpage is anything to go by." She went over   
and switched on the standard light, opening the curtains left precious   
little privacy from her landlord. "Besides," she sat down on the   
futon. "It's nothing you haven't seen before."   
   
Jareth sighed and sat down in the armchair. "You lot really are   
impossible," he said to no-one in particular. "That was just a story,   
you wrote it remember. It's not real," he said slowly to Amethyst.   
   
"Is too."   
   
"Is not!"   
   
"Is too!"   
   
"It is..." he suddenly become aware that he was practically nose to   
nose with her. "Not," he finished more calmly. "And that is not going   
to work."   
   
"What isn't?" she asked innocently.   
   
"The whole argument leads to passionate kissing cliche."   
   
"Why Jareth, whatever put that in your head?" she purred.   
   
He closed his eyes and took a long slow breath. "You know once upon a   
time women weren't interested in sex," he muttered. "And there was   
this strange concept known as modesty."   
   
"What, don't tell me you can't cope with a little nudity!" She stood   
up and dropped the shirt. "Are you trying to tell me The Goblin King   
can't control himself just cause a little flesh is showing?"   
   
He studied his nails closely. "Just, please, put some clothes on!" he   
said through gritted teeth.   
   
"Oh all right, but only cause you asked nicely." She disappeared into   
the bedroom and came back a few minutes later in a wool tunic that   
gaped  too much in front and was far too short for comfort. She opened   
the curtains, letting the sunshine in. "Is that better, my Lord?" she   
asked with a curtsey.   
   
He sighed in resignation and put a cushion in his lap. "Not really,   
but let's just get on with this."   
   
She frowned, "Speaking of which, you haven't actually told me what   
this is."   
   
"You mean you don't know?"   
   
"Should I?" she perched on the futon next to the chair he was sitting   
on and he edged nervously away.   
   
"Never mind. I have, for reasons I find hard to recall, decided to   
grant each of the 'Listians' one wish each. So what is your wish?"   
   
"Oh!" she said brightly. "That's nice. Any rules?"   
   
"Thank you," he said, gratified. "The rules are no wishing to sleep   
with me..."   
   
"You mean people actually tried to do that?"   
   
He looked surprised. "Well, yes. Wouldn't you?"   
   
"Of course not!"   
   
He looked rather hurt at that.   
   
"It's hardly polite, in fact it's practically rape."   
   
He looked startled, he hadn't thought about it that way.   
   
"And besides, I'd rather sleep with you because you wanted to sleep   
with me," she added with a knowing look at the cushion in his lap.   
   
He felt himself flushing, and felt distinctly unlike the all powerful   
Goblin King. "Let's just leave sex out of it altogether," he said   
firmly.   
   
"If you say so," she said. "So, any other rules?"   
   
"It has to be a selfish wish, other than that, just the usual stuff,"   
he said. "No raising from the dead, no making people fall in love with   
you, etcetera etcetera." A thought struck him. "Oh, and no wishing for   
more wishes." If only he'd said that right at the start, though she'd   
be pretty mad when she realised that wasn't a real rule. But by then   
it would be too late.   
   
"Okay." She looked thoughtful. "A selfish wish..." She kneeled up and   
looked out the window, the shoulder of her tunic started to slip down.   
   
   
Behind her Jareth bit slowly into his finger, nearly drawing blood.   
She is a boring, predictable, stupid human with a ridiculous Labyrinth   
obsession, he told himself. And I am absolutely not attracted to her!   
   
She turned round. "Got it," she said.   
   
"Huh?" he refocussed from her chest to her face.   
   
"I wish for total control over the ability to instantly alter my   
physical body in any way just by actively thinking about it without   
causing myself harm or pain; and that means physical appearance,   
physical health, lung capacity, vocal chords... everything. It means I   
can do anything from making my hair green to hitting a perfect top C   
to curing myself of cancer. And you don't get much more selfish than   
that. Is it a deal?"   
   
"Well... I... " he tried to think of some way to twist the wish to get   
her back for the fact that he was forced to sit with a cushion in his   
lap. But couldn't. It was so hard to think straight with a hard on.   
"Your wish is granted," he conceded. He stood up to leave.   
   
"Can I have my cushion back?" she asked innocently.   
   
He glowered at her.   
   
Now it was her turn to sigh in exasperation. She walked up and plucked   
the cushion from his grasp. "I don't know what you're being so silly   
about. Your the one that will insist on wearing tights and it's not   
like we women don't know what's in there and what it does. It's quid   
pro quo, we have uncontrollable periods and you have uncontrollable   
genitalia."   
   
"I really do have to go you know, there are other people on the list   
still to visit."   
   
"Am I stopping you? I just wanted my cushion back, I only have two you   
know. You know you're far more easily flustered than I expected. I   
thought you were the 'sweep 'em off their feet and take what you want'   
type."   
   
"Well, it's not that simple!" he complained. "This is a family list   
you know and if I sleep with one of you then everyone else will start   
writing about it happening to them and then where am I. The local   
bicycle who spends more time between the sheets than being King. It   
just wouldn't do, the whole kingdom would go to rack and ruin, I'd be   
like Barbarella in tights!"   
   
Amethyst laughed at the image. "Just remember what you told me," she   
said. "It's just a story, it's not real."   
   
"That's all very well for you to say, you don't have every writer on   
the block using your character without asking."   
   
"Poor baby, serves you right for letting yourself get sucked into   
these meta stories. Now at least give me a kiss goodbye."   
   
"Well, all right. But just this once."   
   
A good twenty minutes later a rather flushed and dishevelled Jareth   
exited and headed in the direction of the next list member. Inside   
Amethyst reclined on the futon licking her lips like the cat who got   
the cream.   
   
   
\--   
Amethyst    
Creator of the Labyrinth mailing list and alt.movies.labyrinth   
Co-maintainer of the Labyrinth Fan-Fiction Archive   
"Is this what you're looking for? Such a lot of trouble over such a little thing" 


End file.
